Twas the Night Before Enough: A Neurodivergent Mom's Holiday Rebellion

​​’Twas the night before something, that big festive thing—


When the world’s supposed to sparkle, perform, and to sing.

The ads all said “joy,” but she mostly felt tired,


Her calendar overbooked, her patience expired.

The list kept growing—though she’d already run,


From task to task, with no time for fun.


Her hands kept on moving, her mind miles away,


Missing the moments that make up this day.

This year, she decided to show up anew

Less pressure, more peace, a wonderful view.

The fog of “must-do’s” faded away,

Leaving room for a gentler day.

She whispered, “Enough,” and put down her phone,

Finally claiming what was already her own—

That peace doesn’t come from constant commotion,

Or drowning in holiday chaos and motion.

So this year, she rebelled—with calm defiance.

No perfection, no overdoing, no blind compliance.

She honored her limits, said yes to her own way,

And chose joy over expectations that day.

Holidays are often painted as a time of joy, sparkle, and togetherness—but for many of us, especially neurodivergent moms, they can feel like a minefield of expectations. From perfectly decorated homes to jam-packed calendars, the pressure to “do it all” can overshadow the very joy the season promises. The poem above is a statement against that pressure: a reminder that peace is possible when we give ourselves permission to step off the hamster wheel.

For neurodivergent parents, the holiday season can be particularly overwhelming. Executive function demands—planning meals, attending parties, managing gifts, and keeping up with traditions—can be exhausting, and constantly striving to meet cultural or social expectations often leads to stress, guilt, or burnout. Saying no, scaling back, or letting go of perfection is not a failure; it’s a radical act of self-care and a gift to your family. It models for children that boundaries, rest, and presence matter more than appearances or endless tasks.

Choosing joy over expectations means leaning into what truly brings warmth and connection, rather than what looks good to others. It might mean simplifying decorations, skipping a party, buying store-bought treats instead of crafting elaborate ones, or even just sitting quietly with a cup of tea. The moments that matter—the laughter, the shared stories, the calm and connection—don’t require perfection. They require presence.

This is an invitation to notice the patterns that drain your energy, to give yourself permission to step back, and to redefine what a “successful” holiday looks like for you and your family. Peace doesn’t come from doing more; it comes from doing less—intentionally—and choosing joy on your own terms.

Katelyn Vandever, ASW is a dedicated therapist passionate about empowering women and mothers with ADHD. You can read more about her here and reach her at Katelyn@biglifechangetherapy.com.