Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
Better Understand Your Emotions and Heal Your Most Important Relationships ... Especially the One You Have with Yourself
As human beings, we all long for connection. We want to feel close, understood, accepted, and safe with those who matter most – whether that's a partner, a friend, a family member, or yourself.
But lately, it feels like something is getting in the way of that connection ...
If you’re asking yourself questions like:
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"Why does talking never feel like connection?"
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"Why do I keep reacting in ways I regret?"
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"Why do I feel detached, ambivalent, or numb, when what I most want is to feel close?"
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"Why does caring and loving someone feel so painful?"
We get it. You're not alone.
If you're struggling with patterns of conflict, avoidance, withdrawal, or emotional disconnection – with a partner, a friend, a family member, or within yourself, we're here to let you know that you're not "doomed" to keep repeating these patterns. Help is available.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a compassionate, research‑backed approach that helps people heal emotional wounds, strengthen attachment bonds, and build deeper, more secure connections.
Whether you're struggling in a romantic relationship, a parent‑child dynamic, or in your relationship with yourself, EFT can help you heal and experience connection in ways that feel genuine, safe, and lasting.
What Is Emotionally Focused Therapy & Why It Matters
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a highly effective, evidence-based approach to counseling and psychotherapy that is grounded in attachment science – the idea that connection and emotional attunement are fundamental to human well-being and that much of what we believe and how we interact with others, ourselves, and the world is based on our earliest relationship attachments.
While EFT was originally developed for couples work, it has since been successfully adapted for individuals and families.
What makes EFT different from other forms of counseling and psychotherapy?
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EFT focuses on emotion more than cognition – this work isn't just about what you think, but what you feel beneath the surface.
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EFT is designed to help you identify and change the patterns of interaction that keep you feeling stuck in conflict, avoidance, or disconnection.
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EFT is about helping you access and express emotions in ways that deepen connection instead of triggering withdrawal or fear.
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EFT can help you recognize, work through, and resolve the root emotional reactions that shape your relational patterns – not just change the behaviors or patterns themselves.
A lot of counseling and psychotherapy focuses on insight: discovering why you feel the way you do. While this is definitely important and EFT does that, too – EFT also goes a step further ...
Our emotional experiences don't just live in our minds – they shape our bodies, our reactions, and how we relate to others.
In fact, our emotions are one of the primary ways we organize our experiences, determining what we try to move away from or what desire to move towards.
Emotionally Focused Therapy is designed to help you access and understand the emotional information that underlies your reactions, so you can transform how you feel from one moment to the next, allow your emotions to become a source of connection, and relate to others and yourself in new ways.
How Emotionally Focused Therapy Can Help
Emotionally Focused Therapy is especially effective for individuals, couples, and families who are experiencing relationship issues.
Whether you're:
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Struggling with recurring arguments that keep circling around the same themes
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Feel unheard, unseen, or emotionally abandoned
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Do everything you can to avoid conflict – even if it means avoiding connection altogether
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Endlessly replay cycles of blame, withdrawal, pursuit, or shutting down
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Having difficulties reconnecting after disillusionment or betrayal
EFT can help you:
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Recognize and shift the patterns of interaction that are keeping you apart
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Understand and express emotional needs in ways that invite connection
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Respond to one another with empathy and security
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Deepen trust and rebuild emotional safety
Couples we've worked with often describe EFT as helping them go from "arguing about what happened" to "understanding why we react the way we do."
But EFT isn't just about helping people resolve relationship issues ...
EFT can also help you:
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Identify the core emotions that are driving any patterns of anxiety, self‑criticism, or avoidance
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Understand how your attachment history shapes your current emotional life
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Strengthen your self‑compassion and internal sense of security
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Improve emotional regulation and resilience
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Transform shame, grief, vulnerability, and fear into clarity and choice
Whether you feel overwhelmed, confused, or disconnected from who you want to be, EFT recognizes that how you feel matters – and that emotions are not the enemy, but the language of your inner world that can help you define and create positive, lasting change.
What to Expect in Emotionally Focused Therapy
Emotionally Focused Therapy is experiential, relational, and highly collaborative. In EFT sessions, you're not just going to sit and talk about your problems – you'll experience different ways of relating within the therapeutic connection.
Together, we may:
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Explore the emotions that lie underneath your reactions
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Notice how your body responds when you talk about difficult topics
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Learn how to express vulnerability without fear of rejection
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Practice new ways of responding – to others, and to your own emotions
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Shift patterns of avoidance or reactivity into responsiveness
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Build a sense of emotional safety that feels real and sustainable
None of this is about "fixing" you. You're not "broken." EFT is about deepening your capacity to feel safely and relate securely ... with others, but most importantly with yourself.
When to Reach Out for Help
It's never too early or too late to reach out for help. Doing so isn't a sign of weakness, it's a powerful act of love, both for yourself and those you care about.
That being said, we'd highly recommend giving EFT a try if you're:
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Experiencing recurring relationship conflicts
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Struggling with emotional withdrawal, avoidance, or numbness
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Having difficulties communicating your needs and feelings
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Feeling unseen, disconnected, or misunderstood
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Grappling with persistent shame, fear, or emotional overwhelm
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Trying to navigate grief or anxiety tied to relationship disruptions
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Wishing to increase the amount of emotional safety, intimacy, and joy you experience in your relationships with others and with yourself
Whether you're an individual, couple, or family ... whether you're in a long-term partnership or navigating a transitional season ... whether you're trying to heal old patterns or create more grounded, secure connections – Emotionally Focused Therapy can help.
Does Big Life Change Therapy Have the Best Emotionally Focused Therapist for You?
While experience, training, and individual therapy techniques all matter, the most important ingredient in effective therapy is the healing relationship you create with your therapist.
If you're not comfortable being open and honest with your therapist, you'll find it extremely difficult to do the deep work necessary to heal and grow. This is especially true when it comes to Emotionally Focused Therapy.
And this is why no one clinician can be the best Emotionally Focused Therapist for every client.
Fortunately, Big Life Change Therapy is much more than just one therapist!
At Big Life Change Therapy, we offer:
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A highly-trained team of clinicians, several of whom specialize in EFT, so we're likely to have a therapist who's a great fit for your unique personality and needs
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Warm, nonjudgmental, compassionate support that meets you where you are, respects your emotions and lived experience, and honors you for being you
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Flexible scheduling, with initial appointments often available within 48 hours and both virtual and in‑person sessions available
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Accessible payment options, including sliding scale and insurance to make sure everyone can access the care they need and deserve
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A calm, supportive space where you can be you, and your body's wisdom is honored
That being said, the only way to really find out if we have the best Emotionally Focused Therapist for you is to contact us today, ask any questions you have, and schedule an initial consultation.
Whether you're seeking inner emotional clarity and resilience or longing for relationships that feel safer, richer, and more connected, Emotionally Focused Therapy can be a powerful step forward on your journey toward connection, healing, and growth.
We encourage you to reach out today, schedule a free 15-minute consultation, and learn more about how Emotionally Focused Therapy can help you better understand your emotions and heal your most important relationships ... especially the one you have with yourself.